Three Things Wiggins Thinks

Here are things that I know, with absolute certainty, that Wiggins thinks:

1. That ARod will be the MVP of 2007. Not just the AL MVP. And not just the All Star game MVP. He'll be the MVP of everything that is 2007 in baseball. He will win the ALCS MVP. He will win the World Series MVP. He'll win the MVP Award for his play when the team of American all-stars visits Japan in the offseason. Wiggins even thinks there's a chance that ARod will win the NLCS MVP because of the influence he will have on the psyche of the NL players who will fear facing him in the World Series.

2. Hanley Ramirez will hit .237 and manage a statistically inefficient stolen base to caught stealing ratio.

3. Wiggins thinks "comedian" Andy Dick will find his inner heterosexual and spawn a child. She will be named Anita. Wiggins will try not to laugh about this for 18 years. He will fail.