Four Weeks Until Order Is Restored To The Universe

I hate myself for even linking to this, but don't ever say that I never did anything for you: last year's in-stadium intro video.

Ok, I feel dirty now. But here's a clip to make me feel better:



That's Javarris James -- Baby Edge.

Dog Days Of August Predictions

Ok, I'm revising my playoff predictions. That's mostly because the ones I put up barely two weeks ago were just horrible.

In July I had:

AL:
East - Red Sox
Central - Tigers
West - Angels
Wild Card - White Sox

NL:
East - Mets
Central - Cardinals
West - Dodgers
Wild Card - Astros

Now I'm changing my picks. In the AL East, I know that David Ortiz comes through at every opportunity, but the Yankees are hot, they added some serious talent, and they're going to get All-Stars back from the DL the rest of the way. The Tigers have the Central locked up, essentially. The West is a mess, but I still like the Angels. I have no idea what to think about the Wild Card. But the Twins are hot right now. And if the Twins make the playoffs, they almost have to be the favorite to win the pennant. With Santana and Liriano heading the rotation, it's tough pick against the Twins.

New AL:
East - Yankees
Central - Tigers
West - Angels
Wild Card - Twins

The NL is a little easier in some respects. The Mets have pretty much locked up the East. I can't see anyone mounting a challenge, particularly with the Phillies having given up on this season. The Central is tougher. It's hard to think the Cardinals will win the division. They hardly deserve it... except that everyone else in the division is horrible. And I guess I'm coming around to thinking that the much maligned West is going to produce the Wild Card.

New NL:
East - Mets
Central - Cardinals
West - D'backs
Wild Card - Padres

I'm giving the D'backs the edge in the West because they currently have a winning record in the division. I think everyone in the West is still in the race though.

I'll revise my picks in September (pre-Labor Day). I have a feeling they'll need some heavy re-working.

Five Weeks Until Order Is Restored To The Universe

I think this story pretty much sums it all up. I'd give a link, but I don't have one. I received this via email. I would have to assume it's from The Onion:

You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From My Area Defeats The Sports Team From Your Area
As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up next weekend (ok - five weeks from now). I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.

To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.

Another reason why I hate David Samson

David Samson still does his weekly radio segment on Dan LeBatard's radio show. Samson is mildly entertaining in this bit because he talks very little baseball. In my opinion, this is a smart thing for Samson to do, because he doesn't know much about baseball.

After droning on about his upcoming Ironman competition (seriously), Samson proved (once again) that he's not as savvy of a baseball person as he pretends to be. Samson uses most of his radio time to talk about movies. He's apparently a movie fanatic. Somehow he's able (he says) to watch a movie each day. I'm not sure how he finds the time, particularly when you consider the amount of time the average baseball exec claims to spend working and/or watching baseball. But apparently David finds the time -- even during the season.

Anyway, last week's movie discussion led to a brief back and forth about "Miami Vice". This talk was a day or two before the movie was released, so neither LeBatard nor Samson had actually seen the movie. Samson said that he was very excited about it, because he had given the filmmakers permission to use the Marlins' name and/or logos in the movie. Mr. Samson informed everyone that when the Marlins are referenced on a television show or in a movie, the team has to give its permission -- and that normally goes through Samson's office.

What struck me as odd though was that immediately after relating that he gave permission for the Marlins reference in "Miami Vice", Samson expressed surprise when LeBatard informed him that the movie (unlike the television show) is not set in the 1980s. "Miami Vice" (the new, movie version, at least) takes place in 2005/2006.

Now, if David Samson is so smart, how did he not realize that it would be extremely difficult for a 1980s-based movie to have a Florida Marlins reference? Part of me genuinely thinks that Mr. Samson may not know that the Marlins weren't a part of MLB during the 80s. I'm sure he knows that when he has a media guide or some other publication in front of him. But between the movie watching and the snack eating at the ballpark, I'm sure that some of this other minutia escapes him.

Beating My Coke Problem

Last week, July 16th to be exact was the first anniversary of the last caffeniated soda that I have ever had. For those of you who have known me for a long time, you know that I have always been a big Coke fan. Growing up, I nearly always had a Coca-Cola in my hand. Not a Pepsi, but a Coke. From time to time I'd have a Mountain Dew, Jolt, or Dr. Pepper, but 99 times out of 100 it was a Coke.

As I got a little older (a few years out of college) that switched to Diet Coke. The switch saved me at least 600 calories a day. On a lot of days, it was probably closer to 1,000 calories. The taste wasn't the same, but I needed the caffeine. Really, I did. If I was somehow able to get through the morning without a soda, I'd have headaches and/or feel ill by about noon.

But last year around this time, with Carolina's urging, I stopped cold turkey. I thought it would be hard, but it wasn't. I started drinking copious amounts of water. That made it much easier. Eventually I mixed in green tea. That has helped considerably.

Now I'll be honest and admit that from time to time I have a cup of coffee, or a Frappuccino, or even a caffeine free soda. But it's not the same. I can have one of those once in awhile and leave it at that. Back in the day, one soda led to another and another. I couldn't have a meal -- even breakfast -- without a soda. Now I can. It's much better this way.

Six Weeks Until Order Is Restored to the Universe

Kenny Phillips is better than Sean Taylor. Do you remember Sean Taylor?

My Ins and Outs

Now we've got something of a list going. Maybe we'll add some names as we think of others (and keep using the comments to add names). In this post I'm going to list who I think is in and who I think is out. There will not be any "I'm not sure" type things associated with any name.

Maybe what we can do is that when Wiggins has his list up we can talk about the guys we disagree about. Maybe that will be interesting.

Guys who are in
Greg Maddux
Roger Clemens
Mike Piazza
Alex Rodriguez -- if he retires today, he's in -- unclutch and all
Derek Jeter -- same as ARod, but with clutch
Randy Johnson
Pedro Martinez
Ivan Rodriguez
Tom Glavine
Robbie Alomar
Craig Biggio
Mariano Rivera
Manny Ramirez
Barry Bonds
Frank Thomas
Jeff Bagwell
John Smoltz
Curt Schilling -- as much as I hate to admit it
Trevor Hoffman
Ichiro Suzuki -- with a couple more good years in the States, his MLB accomplishments alone may be enough to merit enshrinement. He needs 10 years in the bigs to be eligible
Andruw Jones -- he's still young
Chipper Jones
Jim Thome -- when it's all said and done, the numbers will be huge
Mike Mussina -- he'll end up North of 250 wins, but short of 300. Another ring with the Yankees helps his cause
Vladimir Guerrerro
Johan Santana -- he's in the middle of the dominant period of his career
Albert Pujols
Scott Kazmir -- wild guess
Joe Torre
Bobby Cox
Tony LaRussa

Guys who will get in, but who will have to wait awhile
Mark McGwire
Sammy Sosa
Edgar Martinez -- for different reasons than the first two

Not going to make it
Rafael Palmeiro -- I didn't think he was in before the steroid controversy
Jason Giambi
Gary Sheffield
Fred McGriff -- if Palmeiro's not in, how can McGriff?
Carlos Delgado -- I love the guy, but... maybe if he gets a ring with the Mets and has another deep run or two
Jason Varitek -- needs more playoff drama and/or more rings because the stats won't be there
Bernie Williams -- lots of intangibles and team things, but not enough stats
Miguel Cabrera -- intangibles worry me. My gut tells me he won't keep it up
Dontrelle Willis -- I love the guy. He can be great and not make the Hall. No shame in that
Roy Oswalt
Barry Zito
Tim Hudson
Roy Halladay
Rich Harden
Felix Hernandez
Francisco Liriano -- the body of work is too small
Jason Bay -- debuted too old
Carlos Beltran
Alfonso Soriano
David Ortiz -- his Twins years still count
John Scheurholz -- he should be in, but won't make it
Billy Beane -- he's going to need a lot of rings
David Wright -- he'll get in one day. I'm almost sure of it. He'll be in just like Gregg Jeffries -- when he pays his admission just like you and me

Hall of Fame Debate

Wiggins and I will now answer all of your questions, doubts, and worries about who will and who will not one day be enshrined in baseball's Hall of Fame. We're going to focus on current players and recently retired (but not yet eligible) ballplayers. We'll break them into categories and discuss from there. Once the list is "complete" (whatever that means) we'll really start to get into it.

Locks
Roger Clemens
Greg Maddux

Near Certainties
Mike Piazza
Alex Rodriguez
Derek Jeter
Randy Johnson
Pedro Martinez
Ivan Rodriguez
Tom Glavine - 4 silver sluggers -- that's cool
Robbie Alomar
Craig Biggio
Mariano Rivera
Manny Ramirez

Steroid Talk
Barry Bonds
Mark McGwire
Sammy Sosa
Rafael Palmeiro
Jason Giambi
Gary Sheffield

Questionable/Stretches
Frank Thomas
Jeff Bagwell
John Smoltz
Fred McGriff
Carlos Delgado
Curt Schilling - his middle name is "Montague". I hate him.
Jason Varitek
Bernie Williams - 5x All-Star, 4x Gold Gloves, 4 rings
Trevor Hoffman - 436 saves, 146 ERA+
Ichiro Suzuki
Andruw Jones
Chipper Jones
Jim Thome
Edgar Martinez
Mike Mussina - 224 W, 125 ERA+

Need More Quality Seasons
Vlad Guerrerro
Johan Santana
Albert Pujols
Miguel Cabrera
Dontrelle Willis
Roy Oswalt
Barry Zito
Tim Hudson
Roy Halladay
Scott Kazmir
Rich Harden
Felix Hernandez
Francisco Liriano
Jason Bay
Carlos Beltran
Alfonso Soriano
David Ortiz
David Wright

Managers/Executives
Joe Torre
Bobby Cox
John Scheurholz
Tony LaRussa
Billy Beane

I suppose we could get into the uber-prospects too, but that's a little much. Even the younger pitchers listed there are a big stretch, but some out of that group are inevitably going to turn into immortals.

Some of these guys shouldn't even be listed -- but I was just trying to put together more of a list so that there'd be more to discuss. Feel free to add/subtract.

Mike's Fearless Postseason Predictions

Yes, it's mid-July, but I still don't have a handle on who is going to make the MLB playoffs. Here are my picks. After this week's White Sox - Tigers series, I may have a completely different take on everything.

American League
East - Boston Red Sox
Central - Detroit Tigers
West - Los Angeles Angels
Wild Card - Chicago White Sox

I had written off the Yankees going into the weekend. That's a lot different now. Toronto is right there too. The other teams in the Central are too far back. Anything could happen in the West.

National League
East - New York Mets
Central - St. Louis Cardinals
West - Los Angeles Dodgers
Wild Card - Houston Astros

The Reds and Brewers are fun, but neither team is outscoring their opponents on the whole. Plus the Reds traded away a lot of talent last week. Maybe Atlanta, Philly, or a team from the West will sneak into the wild card. Who knows?

It's amazing that we're 90+ games into the season and that everyone in each Western division is within 4 games of the lead. That's fun. A sweep here or there could really give some separation.

Regardless of who makes it, I'll take the AL over the NL in the World Series... but in 5 games.

The trade market hasn't started yet, at least not in earnest. Whatever moves are made between now and the end of July (or August) could end up making these picks look horrific.

Hooray Beer -- Now in Multiple Languages

After doing some exhaustive research, we have now translated our page into multiple languages. In addition to reading Hooray, Beer! in the English that Wiggins and I attempt to use, you can now read our site in the following:

Pimp
Smurf
Ozzie Ozbourne style
Redneck (aka some of dem parts of Georgia I be drivin thru from time to time)

I'm not sure which I like best. They're kind of like my children. I love them all in their own special way.

Repicking

Just to recap here, there were eight games in the round of 16. Wiggins correctly predicted the outcome of 7 of those games. I had four of them right (somewhat surprisingly, I had one game each day right and one wrong -- weird).

Now that it's all messed up, we're repicking. Fortunately for me, the four games I got right involved my final four teams. So that's pretty good. I guess that means I don't have much to change (but then again, Wiggins had seven games right, so he has 7 of his original final 8 still in it).

Here we go...

Round of 8
Germany over Argentina -- I suppose this is where it gets ugly for me
Italy over Ukraine -- hopefully I won't get a Ukraine train run... eh, nevermind
England over Portugal -- I hope they both lose
Brazil over France -- Ronaldo showed up in round 2, Brazil may be for real, again

Everything the rest of the way is the same as before.

Halfway Through the Round of 16

So we're halfway through the 2nd round. So far, Wiggins is 3-1 with his picks (and he also had the goal differential right in the England - Ecuador game). Mike is 2-2.

I know that I picked Italy over Australia in today's game, but I have to cheer for the Socceroos. That's one of the best team nicknames left in the tournament.

Also, Wiggins is calling for a 4-0 beatdown by Brazil over Ghana later this week. That's probably a reasonable prediction. I sure hope Ghana keeps it closer than that though. If they lose by a goal, that could be on the bigger stories of the tournament. I mean, I'm hoping for a win by Ghana, but that's not going to happen.

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose...

... but you can't pick the World Cup better than me. Wiggins is going to attempt to out pick me, but we all know how that will go (even if he does know soccer -- err, football -- better than me).

I don't know much about this, but I'm going to try. I also don't know who all of the teams are yet and I may not get to update my picks once the field is set, so this could get ugly (if I'm way off on who I'm assuming gets into the round of 16, let me know). There's probably too much "chalk" in my pics. In reality, I have no idea what's going to happen, but I'm sure I'm going to enjoy it.

Round of 16
Germany over Sweden
Mexico over Argentina

Italy over Australia
Switzerland over Ukraine/Tunisia

England over Ecuador
Netherlands over Portugal

Brazil over Ghana
Spain over South Korea/France

Round of 8
Germany over Mexico

Italy over Switzerland

England over Netherlands

Brazil over Spain

Semifinals
Germany over Italy

Brazil over England

Finals
Germany over Brazil

Can you get a prescription for ecstasy?

Just when you thought it had all happened and the off-field shenanigans of athletes couldn't be topped, something spectacular happens. This is truly unbelievable.

Doesn't Bobby usually try to tell everyone about what a family it is up there in Tallahassee? If so, apparently families steal from each other.

Some highlights:

• In a sworn, taped interview on May 28, Rouse said Nicholson entered the home and carried out two portable stereos, a DVD player and a pair of headphones.
• Rouse also said Nicholson had sustained a substantial cut on a finger. ... In gaining entry, the suspects appeared to cut themselves as they left blood there and on one of Bookers' roommate's sheets. Police later found drops of blood at the exterior of the home of Nicholson's girlfriend.
• Rouse was arrested and charged with three felonies: burglary of a dwelling, grand theft and unrelated possessions of a controlled substance without a prescription, which was ecstasy.
• Nicholson, who was accused of a sexual assault in Miami and sent home from the Orange Bowl, was selected by the Bengals in the fifth round. Nicholson, who has pleaded no contest to a DUI arrest and had another incident with Tallahassee police that led to dropped charges of resisting arrest, has not been charged in the sexual assault case.

Dan Marino: Juicer?

Who is the most accomplished athlete and suspected steroid user to never win a championship in his sport?

Up until today, the answer to that question was (fairly or unfairly) most likely Barry Bonds. But it now seems like that honor should go to someone else. That's because the honor should probably go to the guy who could never win the big one for the Miami Dolphins -- Dan Marino.

Check it out at SNAC's site. There's Dan, listed amongst the convicted and those convicted by the jury of public opinion, and right in between Jim Courier (gasp?) and Bryce Paup (another blast from the past).

Again, if you're all worked up about Barry Bonds and what he did or didn't do, I hope that you are righteously indignant about Terrell Davis, Ivan Lendl, Michael Chang, and Dan Marino too. And if you think that only the folks listed on SNAC's page are the only users of performance enhancing drugs (PED), you're kidding yourself. Given what they're testing for, my guess is there are more PED users in baseball today than there were two or five years ago.

Another star recruit

I wonder if Fred Rouse was still in school when this kid came for his recruiting visit. Yes, I know it's a different sport. But something tells me these two guys would have gotten along famously.

Where be Wiggins 2.0?

Last week we heard all about the new and improved Wiggins... but WTF is he?

My guesses (from most likely to least likely):

1. New Wiggins restricted Old Wiggins web access.
2. Wiggins will be back and soon. He'll tell us about how he ALMOST DIED en route to making his next post/comment.
3. His World Cup research went really well.
4. His World Cup research didn't happen at all.
5. He's despondent over FSU's baseball tailspin. (But c'mon - haven't I always told you that no one gets a team ready for March better than Mike Martin?)
6. Wiggins met the love of his life... the new guy is really happy with Wiggins.
7. He was "featured" on one of those Dateline/child predator specials.

...

287,652. Wiggins met a woman.

Barry, Barry, Barry

It seems that everyone with a keyboard or a microphone is telling us what we should think about Barry Bonds and how his career stacks up against that of Barry Bonds lately. Some things are left out most of the time, so I thought I'd re-mention them here.

1. - Yes, Ruth out paced his peers by a wider margin than Bonds. By far. Yes, Ruth hit more homers than entire other teams did at some point during his career. Bonds has never come close to accomplishing such a thing. But it's not that simple.

Ruth wasn't also walked as frequently as Barry has been. Granted, intentional walks weren't tracked back in Ruth's day, but that's because they didn't happen frequently enough to be of any interest. That's not the case for Bonds though.

Take 2004 for instance. Barry was intentionally walked 120 times. That doesn't include the unintentional intentional walks (you know, when there's nothing close to the plate). That total alone would be enough to rank Bonds ahead of Gary Sheffield, Larry Walker, Eddie Matthews, Cal Ripken, and Brooks Robinson on the all-time list. But 120 is what Barry racked up in a single season! For his career (entering this season), Barry's 607 intentional walks was far and away the most of all time. In fact, it's more than Hank Aaron and Willie McCovey had combined.

That part of the game has changed, even just from Aaron's day. Opposing managers are afraid to pitch to some hitters. They refuse to challenge them. That didn't used to happen. Back in the day, you went after your opponents. If other teams didn't intentionally walk Barry (and if they actually threw him strikes when the catcher was still squatting), Bonds would have many more home runs.

2. Others have talked about the rule changes since Ruth's day. Ruth likely picked up some homers from what would be ground-rule/automatic doubles today. He also likely lost others because they curved foul after going over the fence. Someone has claimed to have estimated that there were at least 50 of these lost home run balls, but he claims to have done so by recreating the trajectory of Ruth's hits from newspaper accounts. That seems to be pretty speculative. It's a particularly interesting conclusion when the author also concludes that Ruth didn't benefit from the short porches in Yankee Stadium and the Polo Grounds down the right field line. How is it that he had 50+ homers curve foul, but that he didn't have many which went right down the line? Those that curved foul must have been right on the line. It's hard to believe those were the only balls he pulled.

Sure, Barry's playing in smaller parks. But he's facing stronger pitchers. And more pitchers. In all, that leads me to another point. But the real point here is that we're talking clearly different eras. This isn't an apples to apples comparison.

3. Take the bottom third of players off of rosters in Ruth's day and replace them with blacks and foreigners. That's essentially what Bonds is doing. Yes, there's been expansion and yes, Americans play other sports now. But there are more opportunities to develop your skills in America now, as there are around the world.

If Pedro Martinez, Dontrelle Willis, and Armando Benitez weren't on the mound to face Bonds (and they were instead replaced by white hurlers from AA), how many homers would Barry hit? How many would Ruth have hit if he'd faced Pedro's grandfather or Willis's great-grandfather?

We'll never know. But don't simply discount Barry's performance because he didn't dominate his competitors by the same margin that Ruth did. Ruth was competing against a very different set of people.

4. If you don't like Barry or diminish what he has accomplished because you think he did/is doing steroids (HGH or whatever), what about those he's competing against? Sure, we don't have names and the details behind many others. But the facts are that more major and minor league pitchers have tested positive for illegal, performance enhancing substances than position players. Maybe my logic isn't right, but that also makes me think that there are more pitchers who are beating the test (when they should be testing positive) than there are position players doing the same.

I had more points, but I can't remember them right now.

Things I Don't Understand

There are a lot of things that I just don't understand. For instance, in all of this Reggie Bush stuff (free house for his parents, the family getting $100,000 cash, etc, etc), why hasn't anyone asked the one question that I want asked? That questions is, of course, if $100,000, use of a house for free for a year, plus whatever other perks were out there weren't enough to land the rights to be Reggie Bush's marketing person, what did the winning team give Reggie and his family? It must have been quite the package.

Oh well. The world is upside down anyway. Miami baseball sucks. FSU lost to Savannah State over the weekend. The Gators, top ranked in the pre-season, are now looking at not even making the regionals. Craziness everywhere.

I'm going back into my hole now.

Crazy Carl Gets His Ring

Last night I caught a few innings of the Mariners - Indians game. Since it was on XM and the game was in Cleveland, I was treated to the Indians broadcasting crew. At one point they went into a story about Carl Everett receiving his World Series ring on Sunday. They said that, in an on field presentation, Carl was presented his ring by a dinosaur-like mascot.

When I heard that, I thought that was the funniest story I had ever heard. It's funny because Carl Everett doesn't believe that dinosaurs ever existed. If this work was the doing of Sox GM Kenny Williams, then I think Kenny should automatically win the Executive of the Year award, regardless of the Sox performance on the field this season. All I could picture in my head was Dinger (the Rockies mascot) or Barney walking out onto the field at Safeco to hand Crazy Carl his ring.

Unfortunately, it isn't true. Carl (and Joe Borchard) received his ring in a much tamer, clubhouse ceremony.