Friday, June 24, 2005

More on Willis

I found a site that will let you create your very own Wesley Willis song. We had some fun with it over at my fantasy league boar, earlier in the season (Ryan Wagner - Hold King). In honor of the Fish, though - I now present this masterpiece. Imagine it as if the Maestro himself were singing it.

Miguel Cabrera

by Wesley Willis

I like Miguel Cabrera a lot.
You are the best in the long run.
You really whoop a snow leopard's ass.
Right on brother.

MIGUEL CABRERA!!!
MIGUEL CABRERA!!!
MIGUEL CABRERA!!!
MIGUEL CABRERA!!!

You are the best in the long run.
You can really get in the groove.
You really whoop the horse's ass.
Right on brother.

MIGUEL CABRERA!!!
MIGUEL CABRERA!!!
MIGUEL CABRERA!!!
MIGUEL CABRERA!!!

I like you well.
You are the best in the long run.
You are a wunderkind star.
You really whoop Saddam Hussein's ass.

Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago.

Folgers - it's good to the last drop.

55 comments:

Mike said...

This is so great. I can totally hear someone singing this.

Mike said...

Hey jerk -

Please provide the link to the site so we can make our own songs.

wiggins said...

The URL -

http://www.monzy.org/wesley/

Scroll to the bottom - or read the whole thing - it's pretty good, witrh freaky pictures of the maestro...

The song-maker is pretty limited in it's rep, but it can come up with some pretty funny crap.

Mike said...

I'm all over this tonight.

wiggins said...

Hah!

Earlier I did one for Dontrelle - Wesley's long lost brother...

We need content ovver here. What's going on, people?

Mike said...

I think it's time to revoke Daniel's admin rights. He's not using them (BTW - I cleaned up the format of the comments earlier... later I'll work on a Dontrelle song.)

No one else asked for admin powers. Anyone? Anyone?

Mike said...

This was fun. Here's my D-Dub song:

Dontrelle Willis

by Wesley Willis

Dontrelle Willis is very special to me.
You are the best in the long run.
Right on brother.
You can really rock your ass off.

DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!
DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!
DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!
DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!

Dontrelle Willis is excellent.
Dontrelle Willis really whoops a donkey's ass.
You really whoop a snow lepoard's ass.
You are the best in the long run.

DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!
DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!
DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!
DONTRELLE WILLIS!!!

Dontrelle Willis is excellent.
I like you a lot in the long run.
I like you well.
About 80300 people like Dontrelle Willis.

Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago.

American Airlines - we mean business in Chicago.

seamusfurr said...

That's fantastic. I saw Wesley perform in Berkeley in 2001, on a third date. She loved it. I had to marry that woman.

Mike said...

Wow. Just a week ago, I'd never heard of Wesley Willis. Apparently I've been missing out.

If you create a Wesley Willis song for your wife, let us know how it goes over.

wiggins said...

I wish I could have seen him perform...

And all the women I know who like him are already married!

Mike said...

I'm starting to think that all of the women you know are married (whether they like W. Willis or not).

wiggins said...

That is yet another story...

I do seem to have issues with married women. But I have learned my lesson...

...and the Wesley Willis-lovin' one is not one that I have had trouble with...

seamus said...

I wrote a Wesley Willis song for my pre-wife a few days after the concert. Wesley has a variation of songs about girls he meets. For example, "Amy Gorman":

You are a beautiful flower
You are a delicate thing
You are a lovely woman
You are beautiful for all time

AMY GORMAN
AMY GORMAN
AMY GORMAN
AMY GORMAN

etc. etc.

Mike said...

Seamus - Wiggins and I may need to take some lessons from you. Wooing women with Wesley Willis is way out of my league (although I may have some potential with alliteration).

wiggins said...

Mike - that little last comment was better than anything I wrote in that whole epic entry.

Jerk.

Mike said...

"Wooing women with Wesley Willis since 2005"

That will go on the next batch of t-shirts.

wiggins said...

I love it!

Have 'em ready for the next road trip, eh?

Daniel said...

Sorry I haven't commented much, I've been too busy commenting at FishStripes... and writing my new diary, which just went up.

Daniel said...

This is interesting... more people like the D-Train than like Billy the Marlin...

Billy The Marlin

by Wesley Willis

You can really jam harder like a magicist.
Billy The Marlin really whoops a donkey's ass.
You can really get in the groove.
Billy The Marlin is excellent.

BILLY THE MARLIN!!!
BILLY THE MARLIN!!!
BILLY THE MARLIN!!!
BILLY THE MARLIN!!!

You are the fishy king.
You are my special fishy.
You make the joyride music.
Billy The Marlin really whoops a camel's ass.

BILLY THE MARLIN!!!
BILLY THE MARLIN!!!
BILLY THE MARLIN!!!
BILLY THE MARLIN!!!

Billy The Marlin really whoops a donkey's ass.
About 70700 people like Billy The Marlin.
You are a fishy star.
You can really rock it out.

Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago.

Folgers - it's good to the last drop.

Daniel said...

Oh, and JUST for shits and giggles... The last two lines of the third verse made me suffer much pee-age, and the rest of the song made me throw up in my mouth a little.

George Bush

by Wesley Willis

George Bush is very special to me.
You really whoop the horse's ass.
You are the best in the long run.
I like you a lot in the long run.

GEORGE BUSH!!!
GEORGE BUSH!!!
GEORGE BUSH!!!
GEORGE BUSH!!!

You are the best in the long run.
You make the joyride music.
George Bush really whoops a camel's ass.
You can really jam harder like a magicist.

GEORGE BUSH!!!
GEORGE BUSH!!!
GEORGE BUSH!!!
GEORGE BUSH!!!

You can really rock it out.
You really whoop the horse's ass.
You really whoop Saddam Hussein's ass.
You really whoop Saddam Hussein's ass.

Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago.

Pontiac - we build excitement.

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